5/05/2007

the old memories


Went to come along with my granny today.Shocked me really,Shes getting older in a few months.Cause her bad health i think.A lot of problems.I almost cried when i was watching.She just did keep smilin to me as if I havent come over to her house for ages.
We talked about alot of things.sorrow things,happy things.Talked about alot of old stories that shes been with my grandfa ,and his family.those are simple stories,but such a beautiful memoires to her.And I was tryin to image the life she used to enjoy (or hard). Feel so badly,I never have a chance to call grandfa .Cause hes died in 1977's.I still missed him though.especially when I hold his old "house" in my arms.felt like hes just around with me.As if i was talkin to him while touchin his old cold bones.Its weird i was not scared like supposed to be.
Watchin the old photos,hearin my granny's old family stories,my handsome grandfa,my young aunts and uncle in pics.There was a hard ages,But I think they lived happily even my granny always got drunk and smokin.Its so far away from me,But its like yesterday.
I think the whole family and me were gonna in different life if my grandfa is alive now.Actually I never thought of I would miss them who the guys died before i knew .But with my grandfa photos,their stories,I would love to meet him just once at least.
Just simple family,with simple stories like all the other families.But its also so different,so greatful,so impressived.My granny is great woman ,even i dont have so much connection with her ever.But she still feed 4 kids alone after grandfa died.Even I cant see her over 3 times a year.cause she loves to be alone.There are alot of feelings dont know how to impress with words.I dont know really.But my heart know,I think thats enough .sometimes really shame that i didnt study mother language hard.
Well ,wish my granny could live long long ages.the intersting old lady always says"he run away so fast ..."

5/03/2007

Fairyland

长大究竟代表了什么
其实根本还懵懵懂懂
但是过去日子里的那些孩子
如今想必正朝着某些目标
一步步向前走
在破晓来得比往常更早的此刻
风的味道也变得不同
仿佛有一些怀念又有一些陌生
心跳开始加快
爱恋中带着心痛
通往海边的那条通道
曾经天真无邪地笑闹奔过
在那遥远的夏日
如今留在心中的是童稚的我们
在前方等着自己的未来到底是什么
当时又怎会知道
会留下的终究会留下
那绝非偶然
如果说宇宙有它的意志
那想必它确实的在运作
温柔而高贵地
从那之后究竟又追求了多少事物
在得到后又再次失去
不断重复这样的过程
在这里的笑容告诉了我们知道
我们现在正位在
最接近永恒的场所
通往海边的那条通道
曾经天真无邪地笑闹奔过
在那遥远的夏日
从那之后究竟又追求了多少事物
在得到后又再次失去
不断重复这样的过程
在这里的笑容告诉了我们知道
我们现在正位在
最接近永恒的场所

4/27/2007

Black & White 的矛盾体

黑 白 双面构成这么一个矛盾体,正是“私”
常常会怀疑人到底为什么要降生到这个地球上
常常会面对前路而迷茫
想着这些问题
独自在房间里由泪水伴我入睡的夜晚
告诫自己要相信自己
要独立起来解决问题
想着想着,泪水又流下来
原来自己是这样的孤独
同时
常常因为同伴的笑话而真心地一起笑
常常因为找寻到喜欢的东西而喜悦
那种像傻瓜一样的笑
什么都不用想的感觉
原来自己也可以这样的开心
我一度认为那个思考人生,甚至思考到头痛,为人生而落泪的那个才是真正的我
在情绪极度低落的时候
面对同伴
我不知道该说什么
想自己包起来
不想对着他们哭
更不想对着他们笑
看着那些无聊,自认为浪费时间的东西
但是如果能够找寻到欢笑的理由
没必要将自己隔离的时候
我想尽情的去笑
那种笑的感觉真的让人觉得很开朗
原来笑是驱逐一切烦恼的
是想着人生每一步,迷茫到哭的是我?
还是像为身边的事,笑得像傻瓜的是我?
到底在黑与白之间哪个是我
我不会做出选择
因为两个都是我
我没必要天天以泪洗面
也没必要天天笑面迎人
黑色的我督促我要过着自己的生活
白色的我点缀我的生活变得更多姿多彩
在黑与白之间
我随心而行
寻找自己的生存之道
昂首阔步